Dericka Canada Cunningham, GBW Founder
September 25, 2023
This Week's Anchor
“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—
that you may be filled to the measures of all the fullness of God.”
Ephesians 3:17b-19 (NIV)
I don’t know about y’all, but I am moved by our anchor scripture this week—full of goodness and seeds of hope. This weekend, I attended the homegoing services of a family acquaintance. Despite the heavy grief and sadness of a tragic death, in eulogizing our dear friend, the pastor reassured us with a reminder of God’s abounding and inseparable love. Many of us need that reminder this week. Our anchor scripture is the perfect call for us to receive God’s love. So, let's break this scripture down to fully embrace this encouragement.
This scripture begins with an image of deeply embedded roots—illustrating that it’s through God’s love that we have power, and that being rooted and established in this love gives us access to this blessing. It reminds us that we don’t receive God’s love in isolation but rather generate authority when each of us is grounded in God’s love in combination with being rooted collectively as a community. This scripture conveys a desire for us to grasp the breadth and depth of God’s love—a love that we often can’t even completely understand with our human minds or express with our limited words. And that when all is said and done, by receiving God’s love, we experience the overflowing whole abundance of God.
How beautiful that sounds, and yet how challenging it can be to freely welcome God’s love into our hearts and our lives. For some of us, the inability to comprehend this expansive and unconditional love makes it difficult to receive. For others, we understand God’s love, but shame, guilt, grief, trauma, and/or a sense of undeservingness seem to get in the way of accepting it. For some, it just feels plain uncomfortable to have positive emotions or energy directed toward us. We can’t even take a compliment from a friend or stranger graciously, so how could we possibly receive eternal love? And yet, for others, we are the givers and not the takers. We’ve been both drained by and somehow thrive from the role of the caring person who gives everything to others (and the Lord), unselfishly, without even the slightest request to have the same care poured back into us. It’s who we are. We’ve accepted it. And to go even deeper, the thought of allowing anyone to care for us (including God) is terrifying, because it requires a degree of vulnerability, unguardedness, and risk of disappointment that we are protective of. None of this might feel relevant to you because there are layers of reasons why we have difficulty receiving love from God and others. However, if I’m “on your pew”, don’t worry because you’re not alone.
I’ve sat in every seat described above. Nevertheless, years ago, in true divine form, God used the simplest interaction to shift my perspective on receiving love, and it ended up changing my life. It happened during my doctoral internship year in the counseling center at UPenn. I was a couple of months into the training year, and to get acquainted with fellow colleagues on campus, one of my supervisors allowed me to tag along to a meeting with the then-director of the office of spiritual life who also served as the university chaplain. In being greeted by this individual, I could sense his warm and wise presence. He was reminiscent of other Black pastors who I grew up surrounded by in the South. Of course, as people often do when they introduce someone, my supervisor raved about his accomplishments and contributions to the campus community. In that moment, I remember feeling uncomfortable myself just imagining how uncomfortable he must have been receiving all this praise, and more importantly, how uncomfortable I would be in his situation. But this man of God had a simple, and yet powerful response that I haven’t forgotten since this encounter several years ago. Once my supervisor finished her overpouring of positive words, he paused for a moment, looked her in the eyes, and said, “Thank you, that was very affirming to hear.” My mind was blown. I could tell he was genuinely impacted by her words, and I was moved by his humble reception and demonstration of vulnerability. There was something powerful about that moment—I witnessed both individuals give and receive something in that instance. She was just as moved by his reception of her words as he was by receiving them. And I found myself wanting to give and receive in the same way in my life.
You might read this story and wonder, what does that have to do with God’s love? Well, as our anchor scripture highlights, God’s love is wide and deep. This means that it can show up in any way in our lives. A simple compliment can most certainly be an expression of love. In fact, sometimes God uses everyday messengers to remind us of who we are, that we are on the right path, and that what we are doing is having an impact and not done in vain. I can’t count the number of times people have affirmed me in the way that my supervisor affirmed UPenn’s chaplain at that moment. Although the affirmations often came from a human acquaintance, they had a divine source and purpose. The issue was, for most of my life I spent an abundance of time as an awkward Black girl, in my head unable to fully receive this type of affirmation. As a result, I wasn’t completely absorbing the everyday manifestations of love that God was delivering directly to me.
From that moment many years ago, I decided to channel the spirit of that chaplain and adopt a new way to receive love from others and from God. It’s simple, but I hope it can inspire a shift in your life as well. When you find yourself in a moment where someone gives you a compliment, expresses their feelings toward you, or shares the impact of who you are or the work that you do, take this easy approach to letting love in:
Pause—Slow down those quick gut reactions and the urgency to respond unintentionally. Allow more time to consider what has been said to and/or done for you at this moment.
Listen & Observe—Notice what is being said and/or done in demonstration of this person’s love for you. Consider how it reflects God’s love for you.
Absorb—Ponder and meditate on what this expression of love means to and for you. What might be its purpose for you and your life? What might God be communicating to you/affirming for you through this moment?
Respond—Intentionally generate a response versus a reaction. Take some time in your everyday life to think of different ways to respond in these moments that are not dismissive or avoidant (i.e., “thank you”, “that means a lot to me”, “that was affirming to hear”, “I needed to hear that today”, “I feel God’s presence in you sharing that”, “that uplifted my spirit today”, “it feels good to hear that from you”). Don’t forget to respond to God via gratitude for the creative ways He illustrates His love for you!
God’s love is all around us. We can directly tap into it by reading the Word, engaging in prayer, and evoking the presence of the Holy Trinity. We can also look and listen for God’s love in our every day relationships and life. This week, challenge yourself to notice God’s love in unexpected places and let that love inhabit your heart, mind, body, and soul!
Reflection
What resonates for you about this scripture and/or this devotion?
What gets in the way of you receiving and absorbing love? How can you approach moments of praise, love, or care differently?
What intention(s) do you want to set to connect and/or reconnect with being grounded this week?
Related Scriptures to Ground You Through this Week
Psalm 63:3
Psalm 86:15
Isaiah 54:10
Lamentations 3:22-23
Zephaniah 3:17
1 Chronicles 16:34
1 John 4:7-10
My Through-the-Week Reflection Guide
A Song of Inspiration
Quote of Love & Liberation
“Once we recognize what it is we are feeling, once we recognize
we can feel deeply, love deeply, can feel joy, then we will demand
that all parts of our lives produce that kind of joy.”
Audre Lorde
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